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Friday, April 30, 2010

Chatting with a strange stranger

Hello stranger,

I was just chatting with random people on omegle moments ago, and after several uninspired conversations, including 2 where the stranger spontaneously hurled profanity at me (in Hindi, no less), and countless encounters which started off with “I’m 24, naked and horny”, I happened to connect with this one random stranger, and proceeded to have the most interesting random dialogue ever.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! 

You: hello
You: i'm so sleepy
You: it's 2 am
Stranger: It's 2:00 at night?
Stranger: o_O
You: yea
You: what time is it your place?
Stranger: It's two PM here.
You: oh
You: you're in the US
Stranger: And you’re in..?
You: Malaysia
Stranger: Holy moly!
You: haha
You: far away
Stranger: Well, if I don't repspond, I'm browsing /u/.
You: if i don't respond
You: i've fallen asleep
Stranger: Hmm, strange, even when I take the goggles off, it's still there.
You: you should try it with 3D glasses
You: it'll still be there
You: but in 3D
Stranger: But where am I gonna find 3D Yuri goggles?
You: invisible ones might work
You: there, on the table by your side
Stranger: Oh ya, those.
Stranger: Thank you, kind whale-sir-octopus-ninja-man.
You: just be careful you don't misplace 'em
You: hard to find, invisible things
Stranger: I know.
Stranger: I'm still looking for my Invisible 360 controller.
You: i think my dog ate it
Stranger: o_O
Stranger: Alright, when did my 360 controller get in that box to Malaysia...
You: that same day the ninja broke into your neighbour's house
You: and stole all the cheese
Stranger: IT WAS YOU!
You: NO!
Stranger: YOU STOLE MY NEIGHBOR'S CHEESE!
You: I have an evil twin
Stranger: I WAS GONNA STEAL IT NEXT WEEK!
You: good thing my twin got to it first
You: it would have gone bad if you waited a whole week
You: i mean, jeez!
Stranger: Have you ever heard of the word "refridgerator"?
You: but then, i could probably feed it to my dog
You: then it would get diarrhoea
You: and poop out your 360 controller!
Stranger: Good, then you can leave it on your front porch, and have your ninja twin take it to my neighbor's fridge.
Stranger: He knows where it is.
You: he never ninjas into the same place twice
You: he's from that secret elite clan
Stranger: Then he can leave it on my doorstep.
Stranger: Tell him to leave it in the fridge next door.
You: how'd he know which is your house?
You: there are other neighbours!
Stranger: Tell him to leave it in the house on the left?
You: done and done.
You: he should be there any moment now
Stranger: Oh, there's my missing shoe.
You: oh, but where's the other pair now?
You: haha!
Stranger: I hate your brother.
You: and you'll never get it back you know
You: he never ninjas the same place twice
Stranger: Ugh.
You: oh well, at least you have your 360 controller.
Stranger: I think my nose exploded.
You: oh no!
You: your nose exploded?!
You: you’re screwed now
Stranger: This is why I love /u/.
You: how are you gonna wear those 3D yuri goggles?
Stranger: Why, isn't it simple?
Stranger: TAPE! 

Your conversational partner has disconnected. 

I guess people like this are a rare find, and sure enough, the next idiot stranger I met was evidently no where nearly as interesting. His opening line was: “Wanna suck my dick?”

Disappointing how he disconnected right away when I said “Sorry, I choke on small parts”.

2 comments:

Joanne Ting said...

HAHA!! This is awesome!!! I can't stop laughing!!

kid said...

dude, dont talk to strangers.. LOL..

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