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Tuesday, February 4, 2014

My internal thought process this morning

Today, when getting dressed in the morning, I decided I would wear a floral patterned long-sleeve shirt and wear my grey wool coat over it and a grey wool scarf around my neck. The scarf is really long, so I let it fall down past the belt line and cover the front-tails of my shirt.

Then I headed out and discovered that it was drizzling, so I thought of something clever to say to my mates: “Aujourd’hui je suis habillé comme le temps; dehors il est tout gris, mais dedans il y a de la couleur”, I thought I’d say to them as I take off my coat once we’re indoors. I imagine we’d be coming in from outside after sipping on some hot drinks.

Yeah, that would be nice, pleasantly surprise my mates with my colourful shirt, my wit and charm and my winning smile in the morning. Though probably that wouldn’t be much of a surprise. It would just be Hakim being his usual quirky, purple-loving, floral-shirt-wearing self. Still, it would be a great way to start the day before working on the facial feature detection project. Maybe it’ll make it easier to smile at the webcam for the tests when really we’re furiously stuck trying to detect the corners of the mouth, the deadline drawing ever nearer.

Anyway, now that I’m in the 230 to Sophia, I’ve been thinking about that clever thing I would say to Clément, Assma and Yoann, and I’ve thought of a slightly different thing to say to make it rhyme: “Aujourd’hui je suis habillé comme le temps; dehors il est gris, mais dedans il fleuri”. Then I came up with “Aujourd’hui je suis comme le temps. Dehors il est moche, mais dedans il fait beau.” But then that kinda insinuates that my coat is ugly. Can’t say that for the sake of a joke. Poverty, filthy dirty things, racism and the elderly?  Fair game. Joke about my coat being ugly? I’m too vain for that. Can’t have any negative connotations associated with me. Nope. Besides, my coat is sick and kickass.

Now I am at a junction. Not the bus – it’s just passing the toll booth. I am faced with a decision to make! What do I say to my mates? Which of the clever and meticulously crafted sentences of appropriately selected words from my rich expansive vocabulary must I utter to most delight and tickle my friends?

I can’t be made to make big decisions this early in the day. The sun’s not even out yet. Well, actually most likely it is, but given the weather, I probably won’t see it for a while yet. It’s okay, I’ll see Assma and Clément. Ah, that’s right. That’s good. Other people. Let them make the decisions for me. Not about this though. That would be unusual…

Hey guys, if I were to tell you a clever jokey-like thing – perhaps in the near future and under similar weather conditions, and let’s say, hypothetically speaking, that I’m wearing a floral shirt under this grey coat – tell me, which of these sentences would make you smile harder, wider and longer?” No, I couldn’t ask them that. It might spoil the surprise. Though, that’s just the sort of thing I tend to say all the time. Oh, maybe that could be the joke! Yeah, that’s it.

Nah, now I’ve gone and overthought things. Besides, I’ll probably be the first to arrive today, for a change, then I’d have to either keep my coat on until they come, which would be weird because they’d think that I got up early and came to school early and waited until they arrived specifically to strip off some clothes for them.

Oh, now Clément just sent me a message that he fixed a rendezvous for 10.30 with our advisor. Great, I’m reaching Polytech at 8.45 and I can’t very well wait outside until they arrive just to give myself a weak excuse to keep my coat on for the sake of the joke, in the hopes of making it seem natural and to mask the fact that it is in fact a desperate attempt at humour, in itself making it all the more unnatural and desperate.

Who am I kidding? That can’t be the joke. None of these is the joke. I’M the joke. Sad face. Maybe I’ll just post this on Facebook. Yeah, just for laughs. Maybe get a like or two, make me feel better about myself.

Because, let’s face it, I’m not gonna play out any of these scenarios today. I’ll just have to come up with some other gimmick now. Luckily, I’m good at that. 

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