English: I poop rainbows     Bahasa Melayu: Ku terfikir     Personal Site

Friday, March 7, 2014

Why I'm so nice

I find it quite natural to smile a lot, be generous, be nice to people and all that, but not so much to make people happy as to make myself feel good. I believe that I am nice only as long as it fulfils a need within me to externalize and express different sorts of emotions, or to achieve certain goals – enjoy vicariously through my friends when witnessing or perhaps just imagining the pleasure they derive from my largesse? Make people like me more? Feel better about myself? All of the above.

It might sound like a terrible thing to admit, but that’s how I feel. If it didn’t make me happy to make you happy, I wouldn’t do it. It simply wouldn’t be worth my time and effort. Although you might be taken aback, if you ponder about it for a moment, it will seem less shocking. That might either be the result of you rationalizing and reaching logical conclusions, or just your brain activating a coping mechanism to make it seem less horrendous than you initially thought. Either way, I would have achieved my goal, so keep reading.