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Friday, November 4, 2011

Why I haven't finished my work yet.

Here I am in my room, trying to get work done since I got up at noon. It’s now midnight, so it’s been 12 hours, and one might expect that I would have gotten some solid work done. That would be true, if only I wasn’t so distracted and uninterested in the work I’m supposed to get done.

It’s a presentation that I must do for English, and after much deliberating and half watched videos on TED, I finally decided that I’ll talk about Google’s self-driving car. Once I’d decided on the topic, I then went on to make the PowerPoint presentation. Probably about an hour later, I’d finished writing the title: “Google’s self-driving car”.
This might sound like a lot of time for just a short title, but it’s easily explained. First of all, I tried to do a Google image search to see if Google has an official logo for this project of theirs. They do, after all, have different logos almost every other day. They have custom logos for Easter, and St. Patrick’s day, and even the Muppets, so I thought it would be a really quick search, and that the first result would be it. I was wrong.
Then I decided that I’d just use the standard Google logo, and I’d just add the apostrophe and the ‘s’ and then the rest of the words. I did, but then, it didn’t look very original. And it certainly didn’t look homogenous, because of the mixed fonts, so it made my OCD kick in. OCD is the mother of unwarranted effort invested into things which don’t matter at all, so quite naturally, I then had a brilliant idea to fix this non-problem. I did a quick search to find out what the font used for the Google logo is, and discovered it’s called “Catull”. I downloaded it, and then I could have the whole title written in the same font as the Google logo.
Once I did that, it started to look a little better:


But still, it didn’t look quite right, because ‘Google’ was all colourful, with the blue and the red and the yellow and the green, and the rest of the title didn’t quite fit in nicely. How could I possibly carry on with my presentation if the frikkin title didn’t look right? I couldn’t possibly just leave it looking so…unfinished. The whole audience would be able to tell that I didn’t put my best effort into making the title look good. And everyone knows the title page is the most important, because if you lose the audience at the title screen, you’ve lost them for good. No, I would not let that happen. I must captivate my audience with a brilliant title screen. And for that, I must spend a disproportionate amount of time to make sure it looked just right.
Quite simply, all I had to do was select the letters in the title one by one, and choose the colours according to the same pattern in the Google logo. Easy: blue, red, yellow, blue, green, red again, then repeat!


Now, I really hope that I’m not the only one who notices that the colours are way off. That’s definitely not the same blue as the one in the logo, and definitely not the same red or yellow or green either. I would not be able to give a presentation where the colours of the letters in the title don’t match. So I opened up the logo in MS Paint, used the colour picker tool, and got the red, blue and green values for the individual colours.

Those are obviously different shades of blue 


I manually entered in these values in PowerPoint, and eventually, with a little tweaking, I got this:
See, it looks much better! 


But still, there was something terribly wrong with it. The ‘Google’ logo was all 3D and glossy; it had lighting and shadows. The rest of the title didn’t. Luckily, with Microsoft Office 2010, such fancy effects are easily achieved. Well, easily enough if you know what you’re doing. Which I didn’t. So I did what any sensible person would do: I randomly clicked around the different options and settings, and messed around with the angle of the shadows and lighting and such, until finally, after making the difficult decision of 180° or -180° for the shadow, I got the following, which I was able to deem acceptable:
At that point, I’d already spent quite some time, and I decided that I needed a break. And that is how the only part of my presentation that I’ve completed so far is the title. This beautiful, meticulously designed titled. Even then, I feel the ‘s’ is too far away from the apostrophe, and I have a strong urge to push it closer. But I resist, as a defiant show of my strong will to be in total control of my urges.

Finally, I had to blog about it, and now it’s midnight and far too late to continue with any work, so I have no choice but to relegate the work to tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll manage more than just one sentence.
Good night, and sweet dreams.

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